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How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The book:

Dale Carnegie was famous for his training programs in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills, and he has condensed most of his lectures into this book

The book is divided into principles that the author explains and illustrates with stories from Amerian public figures or his own students.

This book is practical, universal, and can improve your life immensely. I recommend reaming it entirely.

Takeaways and Paths of Action:

1. A person's name is to that person the most beautiful sound in any language:
"I am bad with names" is the most ridiculous excuse somebody has come up with. Anybody can remember another person's name if they put enough effort into it. (And it is worth it!)

Try repeating the other person's name many times during the conversation. For example: "Gloria, nice to meet you, Gloria!" or "Nuria, where does your name come from" You will be surprised by how much people know about their own names or by how much they care about them.

Make a list with the names of the people you meet along with their most distinguishing characteristics and stories they share with you. Do this especially if you are likely to meet them again. If you have an iPhone, you can keep it private by saving the list in a note and requiring a password to open it. Having it on your phone makes it easy to update.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation:
The way the author puts it is "None of us would let our family or friends go seven days without food, but we let them go months or years without giving them words of love and appreciation, even though our souls crave that as much as we crave food."

Let the people you interact with know the things that you like or admire about them whether it is their most recent professional accomplishment or their new haircut. Make them feel important. 

Now, the key words here are "honest" and "sincere." 

3. Smile
Not excessively, but all the time and to anybody. 

4. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Next time you are writing an email, stop for a minute and make sure you are talking about the things that the receiver cares about. 


"I need you to pay your debt on time so that I can pay my workers to continue working" is not the same as "We may be able to send your order sooner than anticipated if you pay your debt within the next few days. This will also avoid you late penalties that our finance department..." You get the idea.

5. Ask questions instead of giving orders.
It does not matter if you are their boss or their friend, people dislike following orders because of pride. Get rid of your ego, and be smarter by switching from "Please, go buy more paint" to "Do you think we will need more paint here?". 


In addition to getting what you want, you will gain the other person's respect and goodwill.

6. Admit your mistakes quickly and emphatically.
Don't hide them and don't make them seem less important. Being dramatic is acceptable and sometimes the best approach.

7. Avoid arguments:
Use the phrase: "I might be wrong, I often am, but let's consider the facts..."

Favourite quote:
“God himself does not propose to judge man until the end of his days, why should you and I?” - Samuel Johnson.




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